Brave Birth MomsAsk for Help
No one expects you to do this alone. Find an adopting family and get the help you need, from the comfort of your couch.
Pick the Parent's Personality
3/4 of our Birth Moms say knowing the Adoptive Parent’s personality type is as important to them as an Open Adoption.
PairTree is the only intelligent self-matching platform that shows you an adoptive parent’s personality type.
We use a special matching system that allows you to pick the personality type of the adoptive family – because personality is the greatest predictor of their future behavior. That gives you meaningful information about the potential parents, rather than just pretty pictures on a profile.
roll over the personalities to learn more
Help the Future You.
Your Personal Diary is judgement-free zone, where you are free to just be. It's 100% free and confidential. Write about your day, write to your baby, write about your dreams, what scares you, your hopes for the future, your feelings today and more.
The space is yours... but will help you:
- Reduce stress, depression & anxiety
- Increase clarity & decision-making
- Release pent-up thoughts & emotions
Lifetime Support for Birth Moms
You are making a decision that will affect the rest of your life. That's why we donate 5% of every subscription to organizations that will provide you lifetime support.
Why do Expectant Moms choose PairTree?
Most of the Expectant Moms that choose PairTree have been working with an adoption professional, but for whatever reason haven’t been presented with a family that feels “right.” Sound familiar?
More adopting families means you can pick what's most important to you… personality type, location, education, interests, style, etc.
Choose which adopting family to talk with, when to reach out and how far the conversation goes without any pressure.
100% Free & Confidential
Talk with adopting families from the comfort of your couch. A PairTree account is 100% confidential and 100% free.
PairTreeHow does it work?
Create a profile
Click Create a Profile.It’s fast, free, and 100% confidential.
Search Adopting Families
Browse & filter adoptive families based on what’s important to you. Message the families you’re interested in. A simple “Hi, I like your profile” is a great way to start.
Build your Adoption Plan
Once you've found a match, an Attorney or Agency will help you and the Adopting family to finalize the details – including living expenses and future contact agreements for you. (At no cost to you.)
Connect with a Waiting Family today.Look through Waiting Families now!
FAQ for Expectant Moms
What is equitable adoption?
For too long, adoptions have been unintentionally lop-sided. That’s one of the reasons we’re encouraging more equitable and ethical practices in adoption across the board. Birth Moms give the most, and get the least. Providing ongoing support for birth moms should be a standard, not an option that expires. That’s why PairTree started the 5% Fund – donating 5% of net profit to organizations taht provide lifetime support for Birth Moms. Learn about the 5% Fund
Do expectant moms or birth moms get paid?
All birth moms are legally allowed a certain amount of living expenses – the amount will vary from state to state. Be sure to check your state adoption laws [link to state laws] to learn more about what qualifies as birth mom expenses. PairTree does not provide birth moms any compensation, nor do we facilitate or take any portion of any fees exchanged between an adoptive parent and birth mom.
I cannot pay for my expenses. Is there help?
When talking with adopting families on PairTree, be sure they know you need help. It’s a normal part of the process, and is mandated by State law. They can put you in touch with their attorney or agency to start the process.
If you do not already have health insurance, you may qualify for Medicaid. An adoption service professional (like an attorney, social worker or agency) should be able to help you secure coverage, whether you ultimately decide to place or not. (Don’t have an adoption service professional? Click here to find one.)
What is an “open” adoption?
Today, the vast majority of infant adoptions in the U.S. have some degree of openness, which means that birth parent identities are not kept from the child or adoptive family, and there is often some agreed upon ongoing contact between birth and adoptive families.
Contact in an open adoption may include the exchange of letters and photographs, phone calls, emails, visits – whatever you and the adoptive family are comfortable with.
If I choose adoption, how much contact can/will I
have with my child and his/her adoptive family?
The level of contact you have with your child and his/her adoptive family will depend on what all of you are comfortable with.
That’s one of the advantages to PairTree. You can discuss and reach a mutual agreement over the future of your relationship directly with adopting families who want the relationship to work well for everyone. Asking to receive emails, texts, calls and/or visits are all completely normal requests.
FWIW – as adoptive parents ourselves, we believe open relationships thrive in honest, flexible and respectful environments – by birth parents and adopting parents. And that the greatest beneficiary of an open and honest relationship between birth parent and adopting parents, is the child.
How will I feel after I place my baby for
Experiences and emotions vary from parent to parent, but placing a child for adoption is never an easy decision for anyone. Even birth parents that feel very secure in their decision experience a real sense of grief and loss. This loss can only be worked through and reconciled if it is recognized, and if a birth parent receives the ongoing help and support she needs.
All birth parents are entitled to understanding, counseling, and support. This is necessary to help heal, reconcile feelings, grieve during and after the adoption, and feel a sense of peace about the decision. Adoption may be a one-time legal event, but it has a lifelong impact for those involved, and it is different for each individual experiencing it, which is why PairTree developed the 5% FundLearn More
If you’re looking for feedback directly from birth moms, we recommend a couple on Instagram:
I have more questions about adoption. Who can I
A counselor or social worker in your area can help answer your questions. Find one in your area here. Learn More
What if the child’s father does not know and/or
agree to the adoption?
Tell the adopting parents right away. Their adoption agency or attorney must try their best to locate the expectant father and inform him of his rights. Expectant fathers’ rights vary from state to state. In some states the father may be required to be involved within a certain time frame to have parental rights and parent his child. If the expectant father supports the adoption and wants to be involved, he has a right to receive the same counseling and support as the expectant mother.
Will my child know who I am?
That’s up to you. You can choose how much contact, if any, you would like to have with your child and his or her adoptive parents. The more honest and direct your relationship is with the adopting parents, the more flexibility you’ll have in this decision. Maybe you want to be very involved from the start, maybe you don’t know how much involvement you want, but want the option to decide later… the more honest you are about your feelings with the adopting parents, the better.